monsters and demons

Eye to Eye – ‘Self-Devaluation’

It‘s pitch black dark around here and I can hear It breathes.

Heavily.

The first thing I see are eyes. Big yellow slits gleaming spitefully with hatred in the dark, fixed on me without a blink. I notice the sharp teeth, spit dripping from its jaw, its hot breath misty in the air. It must be some kind of estray. A dog, hyena or wolf; a mix. I don’t know. Though now I spot its scruffy fur, gray and black unkempt.

Its straining, ready to attack me. Anytime. Waiting for me to make a move towards it. Only one inch and it will jump to tear me apart. It is here to kill if I accept the challenge.

I don’t move.

First, because it is fucking dangerous, its menace is life threatening and I am scared to death. Second, my army of faithful tiny thought soldiers company self-protection has showed up to report for duty.

Obviously they don‘t stand a chance against this predator. But they are masters of conviction. Using undeniable evidence, they prove to me that this monster here, must be a lie.

Okay, now that was close. I am alive and got out of this hell like it ain’t to thang. High five to myself!

Wait.

Why did I come here again? Did I not set an intention to face It this time, which means I must dismiss my loyal guards from duty. It is the only way to find out, to get real. Eye to eye.

This is suicide, I think, and still I command my army of self-protectors that from now on, I choose to handle this alone.

They’re gone. Within seconds I cautiously move back away from the monster, and quickly climb a tree. Up here I am safe, It will never reach me up here.

I watch It slowly circling around the tree that I found refuge on. And I know that ain’t over yet.

 

to be continued